A Sucker for Romance by Kris P. Kreme
Some guys are in it for the sex, but Ted was never that guy. Taunted by others, Ted is what they call a sucker, mostly because he puts effort into making every date special, especially Valentine’s Day.
Maybe Jessica is as cold as her ex claims. She’s definitely taking things at a snail’s pace. Still, Ted has nothing but respect for the beautiful blonde.
But with thoughts of being a sucker on his mind, Ted impulse buys something called a Sucker Heart which may take their relationship in directions he never imagined. When one lick leaves Jessica seemingly dead but not dead, the cure according to the manufacturer might be everything Ted… and any other guy ever wanted.
Ted has always been a romantic, a quality he always thought was a good thing, but other guys frequently teased him over. And lately he’s beginning to suspect, as cruel as they are, they may be right. After all he’s been dating the beautiful Jessica for a couple years now and it isn’t like their relationship has progressed as far as he imagines most would in that time.
It certainly doesn’t help that Jessica’s ex, Steve, is one of the guys always giving Ted a hard time for being so sappy and respectful of his constantly romantic gestures. As Steve puts it, Jessica is as cold as they come, a bitch who isn’t worth Ted’s time. And while Ted fully knows Jessica isn’t a bitch, she definitely does have a snail’s pace at getting physical. He’s only seen her topless once, and they’ve pretty much made out and fondled, the highlights of two years of dating so far.
Yet nothing is going to stop Ted from making this Valentine’s Day as romantic as he always does. He’s planned the perfect romantic evening together, will cook her a special meal, has the flowers, the gifts, and has just gotten her a beautiful bright red scarf, perfect for Valentine’s. But a slow line on the way out of the store might present Ted with an impulse buy that takes his relationship to well-beyond impulsive levels.
Shuffling up towards the register, just Ted and a bunch of other guys getting last minute Valentine’s Day items, he spots the little cardboard display. Maybe it was Steve and his buddy Leon teasing Ted and calling him a sucker but something catches Ted’s eye about the Valentine heart suckers on display. According to the display, the sweet treats are called Sucker Hearts, for that drop dead gorgeous girl whose heart you want more than anything else.
Bored with the line, still feeling bad about whether he really is a hopeless romantic and being made a sucker of, Ted steps over to the otherwise seemingly ignored display. Picking up one of the large Sucker Hearts, he reads something that at first he swears he has to be imagining. But no, it’s actually there, the words reading Just one lick and she’ll be yours to do with as you please, just one lick and her heart will stop for you and you alone…
And it only gets stranger as he reads the rest, positive this is just a very weird marketing ploy to try and sell giant heart shaped Valentine’s suckers. It’s with a bit of a guilty blush that Ted grabs one of the Sucker Hearts and gets back in line to pay, idle thoughts of Jessica taking one lick and turning into a crazed horny bitch in heat.
By the next day, Valentine’s Day, he’s nearly forgotten about the sucker, having red balloons, a romantic meal cooking in the kitchen, and is ready when the delicate rapping comes to his door.
Jessica was always a girl he had a crush on, well before they actually started dating, so it really isn’t surprising how she takes his breath away still… but little do either of them know that it’s her breath which may be taken away most unexpectedly after she takes a single lick of that Sucker Heart he got her after dinner.
That’s when Ted comes in and finds Jessica living up to the words drop dead gorgeous in ways he never imagined. At first thinking she is passed out, Ted freaks out as it’s very clear her heart has stopped… and after panicking and typing in Sucker Hearts online, hoping for just a serious reaction that looks like death, he discovers Sucker Hearts are under a product recall.
Calling the company that manufacturers them, Trance-tory, Ted can never imagine just what kind of support he will find on the other end of the call.
Sucker Hearts were recalled not because they seemingly knock a girl dead with one lick, but because the instructions weren’t printed and labeled on the suckers, instructions that definitely seem beyond indecent and well past kinky.
Can Ted bring his lovely girlfriend back to life by following those instructions? Will Ted finally get past second base with the beautiful Jessica? And is Ted man enough to get the job done by himself… or will he be calling in backup to truly awaken the perverse slut Jessica never knew was hidden inside her?
It’s Valentine’s Day with the Kreme, and things are about to get extreme. Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, Jessica’s a real doll, and a fun time for you!
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