A Nice RACKet by Kris P. Kreme
Tyler swells with pride about his and Emma’s new suburban home. But for her, the bugs, mice, and more are enough to nearly have her running back to their old apartment. When he solves that problem, will she end up swelling for a very different reason than pride?
Thanks to helpful neighbor Carl, who Emma thinks is a creepy old man, Tyler found the best pest solution, the RidRacket 3000. It uses electrified waves to drive pests away, no mess, no cleanup.
Unfortunately the racket is dangerous to touch without gloves on, so when Emma mistakenly thinks it’s a tennis racket and grabs it, Tyler and Carl must come to the rescue.
Will their rescue efforts only make things worse?
Ever since Tyler and his beautiful fit wife, Emma, moved from a downtown apartment to the suburbs… there has been one source of constant tension. But when Tyler takes his new old neighbor’s advice in handling that tension, Emma may be the one feeling truly tense in the end.
On an ordinary day in their new home, new to them but definitely not new, Tyler is having a good time gabbing away over the backyard fence with Carl, the older man that lives next door. Today’s topic of conversation is the brand new RidRacket 3000 that Tyler took Carl’s advice and purchased.
Eliminating pests is of serious importance since Emma has already freaked out upon seeing even the tiniest bug the suburban house has plenty of places for. As Carl brags on how much his own RidRacket 3000 helped solve the problem for him, Tyler excitedly agrees, discussing the amazing way the fully electrified racket not only drives pests away with merely a waving motion, but it also keeps them from coming back, and all with no messy cleanup of dead pests.
When Emma walks out dressed in a cute little exercise outfit, complete with pleated skirt Tyler has always loved seeing, both men seem to enjoy the look of her, something she has noticed and complained about concerning the new older neighbor… a creepy old man in her words. Unfortunately Tyler chalks her concerns off and seems well on his way to being a creepy old man himself one day, asking where she’s going dressed that way.
As usual, always the fitness junkie, Emma is planning to go down to the local tennis courts, see how her form is doing after not playing for a time. She just needs to find her racket which was packed up in the recent move to the suburbs.
Unsure if they unpacked it, Tyler mentions she can just use his, though it’s nowhere near as fancy as hers. He then tries to tell her about the RidRacket 3000, telling her how incredibly it worked, but Emma only wants to get away from what she feels are pervy eyes, Carl standing by his fence still. Asking where her husband’s racket is, Emma goes off to supposedly find it on a shelf near his workbench in the garage.
But when shortly after both Tyler and Carl hear a shrieking scream, they rush to the garage and find that Emma has mistakenly grabbed the electrified RidRacket 3000 with her bare hand and now stands catatonic and frozen in a scream, the electrications somehow causing quite localized swelling in places both men can’t help but notice.
Will Carl prove himself the helpful neighbor and using rubber gloves manage to loosen Emma’s grip of the dangerous racket? Will more than Emma’s increasingly top-heavy body be affected by prolonged contact with a very effective pest eliminator? And will Tyler find himself giving into to increasingly perverted methods of somehow reversing what has happened to his wife’s once intelligent mind?
It’s quieter in the suburbs, but there’s always a place for a noise or two… especially if it’s a Nice RACKet.
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